At least it’s not Bell’s

Woke up this morning feeling oddly discombobulated (is that the second time this blog I’ve worked that word legitimately into a sentence? Booya!), with my right ear feeling peculiarly hollow and somehow, at the same time, completely bunged up. Kind of like when your ears stuff up during a flight and you have to yawn or chew gum or swallow to ‘pop’ them. Except the whole right side of my face was hurting, from blocked sinus to jaw.

It’s funny how, when you’re trying really really hard not to imagine things and be hypochondriatic (you’re welcome), that’s when you start hallucinating symptoms. Or are they hallucinations, really? I wasted much of this morning patting the right side of my face, then the left, and convincing myself that the right side of my face and jaw was much, much hotter than the left.

I mentioned all this to a colleague at lunchtime (by this point, my ear was quite painful) and she mentioned Bell’s Palsy. Which immediately had me frantically Googling the symptoms as soon as was polite. Fortunately, while I had all the pain and sudden-onset symptoms, I wasn’t drooling or weeping uncontrollably out of one eye, which is a look which I think only Gwyneth or Demi could pull off.

Anyhoo. Got me up to see my GP and it’s an ear infection (take that, Bell’s!) and the onset of flu or something like it. So, that’s antibiotics, antihistamines and a decongestant twice a day. I’d punch something, but my right hand has turned into The Claw this week and yesterday I had to pay someone to wash and blowdry my hair, which I haven’t had to for about six months.

PS/ I’ve been looking at myself in the mirror and thinking “god, I look so tired“, but it’s only just occcurred to me that it’s probably because I am so tired ahahahhahahaha