I am on temporary reprieve from RA symptoms at the moment, thanks to the ‘roids. Apart from some swelling of fingers and toes, and a certain twinge-iness of the knees, I feel human again. I can even manage something as fiddly as putting on my earrings, something which I haven’t been able to do for a long time because my fingers didn’t work properly.
Now, you’d think I’d be determined to be a better person, eat better, take better care of myself etc. I made enough promises to myself during those nights when I couldn’t sleep because even my skin hurt.
I did mean all those vows, and I am determined to sort myself out diet-wise, stress-wise, health-wise, physio-exercise-wise. It’s just that it’s really, really difficult to remember the pre-‘roids agony. It’s not that strange a thing, though ~ if women remembered the pain of childbirth, for example, none of us would ever have more than one kid.
So I’m going to be in voluntary denial for a while. I’m going to worry about as little as possible, enjoy my food, enjoy being able to walk upright, enjoy being able to hold a pen. I had haddock & chips tonight for dinner. It was… indescribable. When I get back from London in mid-September, the steroids will be eliminated from my treatment. Will the pain return? It scares me.